There is nothing wrong with experimenting with pain play. In fact, many people enjoy a little pain to torment their lovers.
Are you feeling apprehensive about inflicting pain on your partner? Are you ashamed of wanting your partner to inflict some pain on your body?
The problem with flogging is that it’s misunderstood, couples become too eager to try pain play, and end up causing accidental injury. This ends up causing both partners a bad experience and neither partner ends up wanting to try pain play again.
In this article, you’ll learn techniques that will teach you how to use pain to inflict pleasure in the bedroom. We’ll also show you the best flogger for giving or receiving wicked love on you or your partner’s body.
Ready to awaken the flogging beast within you? Let’s get cracking!
What is a Flogger?
A flogger is a sex toy that is used in sexual whipping. This toy is made with a firm handle and falls.
Falls are pieces of leather, plastic, or additional materials that will inflict various degrees of pain depending on you or your lover’s threshold.
Want more naughty toys to add to your sex toy box? Read our article on sex toys here:
You may also hear a flogger being called a “BDSM whip”. If you are entering a play scene with a dominant or submissive, this may be one area where will hear “BDSM whip” being used.
Want to explore the erotic jungle of BDSM? Check out our article here:
Floggers come in various shapes and sizes such as paddles, whips, and floggers. While these can be used interchangeably it is important to know the difference.
Paddles are made of a firm material such as wood. They have a handle that you can grasp and a hard surface that is brought down against the bare skin of your victim, err- we mean partner!
Whips are made of a handle and a long, usually thick tail made of leather, suede, and other materials that leave a sting of excitement on your partner’s body.
Want to keep your partner from getting away from you? Read our guide on the nine best restraints for BDSM play HERE.
The act of inflicting pain to cause pleasure is connected with a branch of BDSM that is known as sensory play.
Want to collar your victim? Read our article on BDSM collars HERE.
Sensory play is using a wide variety of techniques in order to enhance arousal, by increasing or decreasing sensitivity to your partner’s body.
The doctor will see you now! Read our guide to medicalfet HERE:
How to Use a Flogger
Now that we’ve learned the basics of flogging, it’s time to learn feel-good techniques for the ultimate experience!
It is important to remember that flogging is not about how hard of an impact you can inflict on a partner. Flogging is about kinky fun, the sexy sting of the weapon of choice being used, and delivering pleasure to you and your partner.
Let’s get into techniques.
Do NOT use your flogging tool on your partner until you pin down your strike power and can vary the impact between soft and heavy blows with precision. Flogging your lover before you have practiced could result in unwanted injury.
Play it safe and practice on a stuffed animal or pillow first. Plus it will give you a confidence boost for when it’s time to make your play partner yelp out in ecstasy.
One of the first rules of flogging, or whipping is to use your wrist rather than your entire arm. Your wrist will be the powerhouse to create different levels of stimulation on your partner’s body. Test out different speeds and intensities and make note of how it feels for you as well.
Remember this is about pleasing both partners.
If you use your whole arm rather than just your wrist, you will inflict more force than is necessary for a flogging session. Remember a great session starts off with gentle play and builds into more intense sensations as your partner becomes more aroused.
Here are five steps to perfecting your seductive blows using your flogger:
- Use your dominant wrist.
- Firmly grip the flog.
- Strike down on various areas of the pillow or stuffed animal.
- Nimbly bend your wrist so that the flogger taps against the pillow.
- You’ll know when your strikes are ready for your partner when all of the falls(straps), are all in the same place at the same time.
You don’t want your strikes to cause the falls to splay out every which way. This is because your strikes will cause much stimulation against your partner's skin. Too much stimulation will create unwanted nervousness and anxiety.
It’s recommended to get in two weeks or more of practice before you start whipping your lover.
Now that you’ve gotten some practice let’s learn how to apply great flogging techniques on victims, ahem people:
- You may want to begin a scene by visualizing or staring at your partner’s back.
- Imagine a line being drawn on their spine and stopping at their kidneys. At the kidneys, make an X. The X marks where you should NOT hit your partner. The last thing you want to do is cause kidney damage or infections because you didn't know how to flog.
- The areas you want to strike are the thicker areas of the body. These include the chest, back, legs, and ass.
- Start with soft, gentle strokes upon the back of your partner’s legs and travel up.
- In spontaneous areas, apply light blows when your partner least expects it. Make sure you observe their facial expressions, body reactions, and breath. If it seems like they are getting nervous, aren’t enjoying themselves, or it’s becoming too intense for them, it’s time to stop.
- Repeat steps four and five enhancing the intensity of impact on the flesh of your partner.
- You’ll know when a flogging session is done because you’ll be tired and your partner’s body will become quite limp, sweaty, and panting.
- Do not forget about aftercare. When it comes to more impact play such as with flogging, it’s important to give your person aftercare. Bring them a favorite cup of tea, cuddle them, and ask them what they thought of the session. Feedback is key from both partners.
Aftercare can also increase the trust factor, and help your person feel nurtured and respected which is key for any bedroom play experience.
What is a Good Whip?
You may be wondering how you can tell if a paddle, whip, or flogger is going to deliver a great play experience. We’ll go over key tips to find the perfect whip, paddle, or flogger.
Good whips and floggers can be found in reputable sex toy stores. If you are worried about being discreet you can also go to trusted sources online such as LoveHoney and Stockroom. Their products are featured below.
When you are ready to shop for your whip there are a few important factors you need to consider:
Beginners should purchase floggers, and whips that are no longer than the length of their forearms. Shorter floggers are easier to control and can reduce being prone to accidents since as hitting themselves.
The more a flogger weighs the harder the impact will be. It is also more difficult to control a heavier flogger for the beginner.
On the flip side, even a flogger that weighs less can have as much force as a heavier flogger.
Opt for a flogger that weighs 0-2 lbs if you are a beginner. If you are more advanced in the bedroom you can shop for a flogger that weighs 5-10 lbs. Just keep in mind that you should have precision control of the force.
Width of the Falls
Thicker falls will make it easier to tap your desired target. Wider falls are also better for reaching more exposed flesh. They tend to hit the target together rather than apart which makes it easier to create amazing sensations on the chosen part of the flesh.
Type of Leather
There are different kinds of leather that will greatly affect the blows. For example, leather that is made from cows, pigs, deer, and elk will create a softer effect on the skin. Whereas leather made from Top grain and Latigo will have a hard, and bigger impact on the strike zone of your partner.
For the partner doing the flogging, having a flogger that comes with a handle that feels good to grasp is essential. Comfortable handles make it easier to work with your flogger of choice. It also may aid you in having a better aim, and control of the flog as well.
Each flogger delivers different strokes for different folks! In this section, you’ll learn about each flogger type and its benefits. Plus learn how to make your own!
Suede floggers are gentler and easier to maneuver. They deliver a hit that delivers a thumping sensation with a touch of a swindle.
Oiled Leather Floggers
These flogs are often left to the more experienced. They deliver a wicked bite and softer toys are often required to prepare the skin.
For a medium nip, and a gentler leather choose an elk leather flogger.
Deer leather delivers a very tender kiss when making contact with skin. You can also use deer leather floggers to help relax your partner after a passionate session.
If you or your partner want to skimp on the pain of flogging altogether, choose a rabbit flogger. They are soft and made to offer a gentler sensation play. If you want to tickle your partner silly this is the perfect flog.
Vegan Flogger Options
If you or your partner are vegan these are a few options that you can choose from.
Make your partner’s body seven times more sensitive by running a fabric flogger along their naked body. Add a little massage oil and heighten their responsiveness even more.
Enjoy providing delightful agony to multiple partners at once? Rubber floggers not only drive a heightened impact, but they also are easy to clean.
DIY Paracord Flogger
If you’re short on cash, you can also make a homemade flogger with items commonly found in the home. Here’s how:
- Wood or metal ring. You can also use a D-shaped keyring.
- Electrical tape or skinny tape.
- Fabric glue
- Cut the Paracord so that you get seven straps each measuring 52 inches.
- Weave the straps through your wooden or metal ring making sure that the straps are in the center.
- Tape the cords so that they are combined. Be sure to tie it as near the loop as you can get. You can also attach the loop to the surface where you are building your flogger in order to remain hands-free.
- Embrace the tape so that it hugs the cord. This will create the handle. The tighter you make it the sturdier your handle will be.
- Line each of your Paracord lengths up and discover where the middle would be. Making sure that you align the middle behind the cord, you can now close your ring.
- Braid the Paracord so that it forms a cross going each way.
- Voila! You just made your own flogger at home!
Our 7 Best Floggers, Paddles, and Whips
For intermediate floggers, this is a great option. You can warm up with your partner with light strokes that produce laughter, and squirming.
When you are ready to take the session to the next level you can strike fleshier areas of your partner’s vulnerable physique causing them to yelp, and whimper with delight!
Shock your partner with this zingy, electro whip attachment. Made of high-quality silicone rubber falls, this flogger can go from mild to erotically charged within seconds!
Its premium materials ensure that your product will last for many sessions to come!
Looking for a flogging option with more bite? You may love this paddle! Its high-quality silicone allows for a deeper impact.
Do you have sore wrists? This paddle will ensure you carry maximum punishment without tormenting your wrists!
A great option for sensory play if your partner loves to be tickled. Or an intermediate option for partners who want stingy taps of wicked torment.
This ball chain whip comes equipped with a 14-inch handle for ultimate control. Your partner is at your mercy or your pleasure with this ball chain whip!
Floggers are a great option to take your bedroom play to the next level. For beginners, it can open the doors to sensitive areas you may have not known existed. For the intermediate, it can add a sting of passionate pleasure that you may not have known existed.
Remember to take it slow, practice your strike zones, and don’t forget about adding nurturing aftercare to keep the bond exciting both in and out of the bedroom.