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What Is A Daddy Dom Little Girl Relationship?
DDLG, or Daddy Dom little girl role play and relationships are one of the most misunderstood aspects of BDSM. This is a dynamic between two consenting adults - one partner, the “little,” enjoys playing with the themes of naivety, youthfulness, and innocence - and will present themselves at an age much lower than their chronological age.
The other partner, the “Daddy,” enjoys those traits in their partner, and brings stability, guidance, and discipline into the relationship.
Although this relationship builds on themes of youth and an authority figure, it has nothing to do with pedophilia or incest. Enjoying being nurtured by a masculine energy doesn’t mean you have an attraction to your actual father, and valuing youthful traits in an adult partner doesn’t mean you have an attraction to children.
This playful bond between two partners can be highly arousing, full of energy, and a great way to introduce a new type of scene into the bedroom.
What is a Daddy Dom?
So what is a Daddy Dom? And why is it called, “Daddy”? Beautifullybound.com describes it beautifully:
“The Daddy Dom is by far the gentlest, most nurturing of all the Dominants...A Daddy Dom becomes many things in his little girl’s life. A mentor. A teacher. A protector. A guide. A lover...She must know that she can depend on him...Daddy hears all her dreams, desires, and dirty little secrets and praises her for being bold enough to open up and share herself to him completely.”
Daddy Doms earn their name because they encompass a more tender side of BDSM mixed with parental-like authority. Daddy Doms are generally more gentle, nurturing and sensual than traditional Doms. He is skilled in guiding his little to be the best person she can be, not just for himself, but also for her own well being.
Although discipline is a part of most DDLG dynamics, the punishments are often to correct a negative behavior in his little to help her break a self-sabotaging habit in order to guide her into being a happier and healthier little. It’s important to note that the little consent to any punishments set in place by the Daddy - non consensual discipline or pain play is abuse.
In more traditional D/s relationships, discipline can be more arbitrary, or even just out of the Dom’s sadistic interests; there may not be a deeper meaning for it other than it just feels good and right in the scene.
What is a Little Girl BDSM?
On the opposite side of this dynamic is the little girl, or “little” for short. Littles find pleasure in expressing their inner child through their relationship with their Daddy.
Littles come in all ages and sizes, and don’t need to have a youthful appearance to enjoy DDlg play. Remember - littles are adult women, and the fantasy has nothing to do with actual children.
Littles find that by triggering their mind to go into “little space” through rituals or routines such as watching cartoons, wearing bright and youthful clothing, or using a pacifier, they can make themselves feel vulnerable, sweet, and eager to please their Daddy.
As sweet as little girls can be, they are also made of spice, and can sometimes be very naughty! Some littles will have a bratty streak from time to time to try and get some extra attention from Daddy - this often results in a punishment from Daddy - but bratty littles know those punishments can secretly be pleasure! Littles know which behaviors will invoke a punishment, as guidelines must always be put in place beforehand. Littles love to be spoiled with affection, toys, snacks and love from their Daddy - isn’t that the best part of being little?
Wait, Age Regressor?
Age regression and DDLG are two similar topics, but they don’t go hand in hand. According to LGBTA.wikia.org:
“Age regression, also known as 'Agere', or 'cglre' (caregiver/little regression), is when someone regresses to a younger state of mind, usually in response to trauma or stress...When they regress, they may have trouble performing tasks that their older selves are able to do, as their consciousness regresses to a younger level and no longer knows how to perform or comprehend these tasks...AgeRe and kink [DDLG] are oftentimes confused, but let me make one thing very clear: they are not the same thing. Agere is never, ever sexual, whereas kink [DDLG] is inherently sexual.”
Although littles in the DDLG sense will often regress during play, they are in control of when they regress and can consent to sexual activity. In the non kink sense, age regressors can not control when they regress, and will be in the actual mind state of a child - meaning they can not consent to sexual play.
Age regressors will often have caregivers; they differ from Daddy Doms in the way that they just take care of their partner while they are regressed with no sexual play.
Bratty Sub definition
Brazenguide.com describes Brats:
“In general terms, a Brat’s a sub who actively goes against the demands of their dominant(s) or is purposefully mischievous, impolite, rude and naughty to encourage harsher punishments...I’ve heard a lot of people describe Brattiness as ‘creative disobedience’”
Brats are usually masochistic type subs, and will give Daddy a run for his money. They are still playful, not nasty, and enjoy teasing Daddy and pushing his buttons. For a brat, punishment is the ultimate pleasure. Daddy will have to think of creative ways to keep his brat in line and make sure to not give into her whims right away - the erotic build up is what really makes a scene with a brat exciting.
Little Space Meaning
What is little space? According to littlespaceonline.com defines it as:
“Littlespace is a mindset in which an adult relaxes into a state of carefree, responsibility-free safety while expressing their atypical inner-self (personality) that differs from their biological peers. In the simplest of ways to understand, littlespace is when a person with the unique little (or regression) personality expresses their personality more externally.”
Littles can put themselves into this headspace by doing activities that coincide with the age of their inner child.
Coloring, wearing diapers, playing with stuffed animals or wearing youthful clothing and accessories can help trigger little space.
Littles feel safe, vulnerable, and childlike while in this mindset. When used in DDlg play, getting into little space is usually the indicator of the beginning of the scene. It lets the little know that it’s time to let go of their adult responsibilities and turn them over to Daddy.
Is DDLG different from Age Play?
Age play is a phrase that encompasses all different types of fetishes that are similar, but different. There are several acronyms that describe these different kinks.
- DDlg: Daddy Dom, little girl
- MDlb: Mommy Domme, little boy
- ABDL: Adult Baby/Diaper Lover
- CGL: Caregiver/little
How old do you have to be to do DDLG?
18+, no exceptions. If you or someone you know is under 18 and being pursued by someone for DD/lg play, they are not a Dom. They are an abuser and need to be reported. You can report abusers and predators here.
How do I introduce my boyfriend to DDLG?
It’s easy to introduce DDlg ideas into your relationship! Most guys don’t mind being called Daddy, and you can ask your partner if this would be sexy for him. You can tell him that a friend of yours was telling you about DDlg or that you read something online about it.
You can tell him you’ve been thinking about it and how it makes you turned on, and gauge his reaction. You may have to start slow if this is a new thing in your relationship - he may not know if he likes it or not, so be as patient with him as you’d like him to be with you. Most understanding partners will be willing to give their partner’s sexual interests a try - so be patient and have fun.
Why Do People Have DDLG Fetishes?
Like most fetishes, no one really knows why people have a DDLG fetish. Unfortunately, there aren’t many scientific studies into this topic. But, one thing is clear: this fetish has nothing to do with pedophilia or incest.
It’s harmful to those who have this fetish to assume they were abused as children or have unresolved parental issues. This is kink-shaming, and as long as your fetish includes two consenting adults, there is nothing wrong with liking what you like.
Like most interests, people learn about DD/lg by having it introduced to them. Many people end up with an interest in DD/lg because at one point, a partner may have introduced it to them, or they read about it online, or saw it in popular media.
They may have had an interest in BDSM, but were looking for a softer, more sensual version. They may find youthful characteristics attractive and want to nurture someone. Perhaps naivety, innocence, and imagination is what they seek in a partner.
Or for the little, they feel satisfied with a strong partner who seeks to support and guide her in all things, inside and outside of the bedroom.
There is nothing wrong with having a DD/lg kink, and judging by the amount of shops, forums, and blogs dedicated to the topic, it’s very popular.
How To Have Your Own DDLG Scene
Before: Establish DDLG Rules
Setting rules is typically a big part of DD/lg fetish. The rules can be just for the little, but often there are guidelines for Daddy as well. Remember, this dynamic is about what is best for both partners.
Here are some examples of rules you could incorporate:
- When at home, the little is to only use a sippy cup and wear a onesie.
- Bedtime is at 10pm and she must ask Daddy what to wear.
- Little must always tell Daddy if something is bothering her.
- Daddy will never administer a punishment when hungry, angry, or tired.
- No negative self talk in front of Daddy
- Little must ask before masturbating/orgasm
- Do chores before snacks and toys
DDLG Safety and consent
- Always talk to your partner in a sane, sober mindset when describing your goals for the scene. Make sure everyone is on the same page about their role, the activities planned, and potential punishments.
- Creating written rules or a contract can be a great way to keep rules and punishments consistent.
- Come up with a plan of how to redirect your plan if one of the partners decides to. Something that seemed hot in fantasy can be not in reality. Many couples use a “safe word” that allows one of the parties to stop or slow down the action.
- Discuss how each of you would like to be addressed during the scene. Is he Daddy, Mister, or Sir? Is she Babygirl, Princess, or Brat? Are there certain words that make her feel more little? What about words that are a total turnoff?
- Encourage open communication during the scene. Check in with your Dom/sub frequently. Questions like, “Are you feeling little?”, “Do you understand I will be giving you a punishment now?”, “Are you in the right headspace to continue?” will show your partner respect and make them more comfortable with communicating.
- A cool-down after play is imperative. Perhaps you can put away your little toys together, change into adult clothes, and slowly leave little space. A jarring end to a scene can be mentally taxing. It’s important to be gentle as you shed your little mindset.
- Aftercare/debriefing is one of the most important parts of play. When the scene is over, it’s important to share feedback of your play. What was sexy? What wasn’t? How can you better reach your mutual goals next time?
During - What To Expect In A DDLG Scene
- DDlg scenes can be as varied as those who practice them! You may have to try a few different ideas before you find the perfect play for yourself and your partner.
Allow your little to delve into littlespace however they find enjoyable. Depending on your little’s interests, allow them to have a pacifier, lollipop, or straw they can suck on. Remark about how happy they look with something in their mouth.
Compliment how well they are sucking. Let them know Daddy has his very own special suck-toy. Let your little know that it would make Daddy feel very special if they’d give his special toy a suck. Encourage them to suck you and give them compliments.
Tell them you’re proud of them for trying something new. You can tell them that if they swallow Daddy’s special dessert, they can get ice cream afterwards.
Your little comes home from school and tells you they started sex ed in school. Your little is eager to show you what parts she has and the names she’s learned for them. Maybe Daddy doesn’t like the technical terms, and commands his little to call her parts the terms he likes for them.
Or maybe the little wants to know what parts boys have, and how sex really works. Sometimes teachers don’t get it quite right, and Daddy has to do some corrections. I think this is a perfect topic for Daddy and his little to study together!
Daddy has found out that his little has been acting naughty and flashing her panties to the boys at school. The little protests, and blames it on her skirt, which she tries on for Daddy to show how tiny it really is.
Daddy decides that if his little girl is going to wear her skirt, she has to show daddy all the positions she can wear it where it doesn’t show her panties. If her panties show while she’s modeling for Daddy, the naughty girl will get a spanking and the skirt will be only for Daddy’s eyes.
There are many different punishments for littles and you will have to communicate with your little to decide which of these could be effective and sexy.
- Refusing to allow your little to orgasm
- Kneeling in the corner
- Taking away a favorite toy/stuffed animal
- Writing a phrase several times
- Early bedtime
- Loss of privileges
Phrases a Daddy Dom Could Say...
- “Be a good girl for me.”
- “I’m not going to ask you twice.”
- “Does babygirl want cuddles?”
- “You make Daddy proud, kitten.”
- “Daddy likes when you listen.”
- “Tell Daddy the truth, princess.”
- “Bad girls get spankings”
- “Bratty girls don’t get ice cream”
- “Want to take a bubble bath and watch a cartoon, princess?”
After - DDLG aftercare
At the end of a session, it's important to take some time for aftercare. This can mean different things to different people, but it's basically decompressing from a scene. Most people use significant mental energy when in little space, and a big part of being a responsible dom is replenishing that energy.
This can be as simple and cuddling and communication, or may entail other rituals that will bring the little out of their little space. Perhaps cleaning and putting away toys for the next scene helps create a definite “end” to the scene and serves as a gateway back into adult life.
Maybe sharing a simple hobby that you both enjoy outside of little space - walking, watching movies, crafting - can be a gentle way to come out of your scene.
The type of aftercare that will make both parties feel important and good is important to discuss before play even happens. After an intense scene, the little may not be able to form their words and thoughts appropriately, and the Daddy will have to make sure he is administering proper aftercare.