Whips. Chains. Dungeons. Sexy to some - but for most of us, a little scary.
It seems like the bar to spice up your sex life is a little high lately.
Look, it’s no secret that some of the elements of fetish play are pretty hot, but a lot of times we are left asking, “can I just cherry pick the stuff I like without the rest of the cheesy fetish setup?
The answer is yes – let me introduce you to “light bondage.”
With just a little bit of knowledge and technique, you can incorporate those sexy, sensual, fetish and bondage elements in the bedroom without the heavy BDSM element.
Trying something new in the bedroom, like light bondage, doesn’t just increase intimacy - it can also be great for your mental health. Don’t miss out on these steamy tips and get the low down on the dirty B word: bondage.
What Is Light Bondage?
The light bondage definition is simply using a form of erotic restraint during sexual activity.
No difficult rope knots, no fumbling with awkward toys.
You’ve probably experimented with light bondage and not even known it! From simple verbal commands, to simply being held down in a sexual erotic way - light bondage is a sensual sex activity that many see as a safe and simple way to explore their sexual identity.
The symbolic nature of being bound, whether verbally or physically, allows your partner to relax and submit to, (or focus on) pleasure only. They don’t have to think of returning the favor at the moment and can fully enjoy their pleasure.
The dominant party isn’t rocking a whip or paddle during light bondage - they are simply able to enjoy teasing, pleasing, and viewing their partners bosy while bound.
We are focusing on sensuality here.
Heavy vs Light Bondage
Light bondage is something that is more easily incorporated when the mood strikes, with whatever is on hand. Whereas heavy bondage can incorporate more intense BDSM elements. Intricate, time consuming rope knots, harnesses, and advanced sex toys, can make heavy bondage an artistic craft to be studied.
To make it simple: in heavy bondage, the domination and submission is obvious, and the submissive may not be able to escape their restraints or may face consensual punishment for doing so.
Light bondage is more about mental stimulation, tease, and vulnerability rather than pain, ritual and strictness. It’s much easier to transition from a light bondage scene into a vanilla one.
How To Perform Light Bondage
Even though light bondage doesn’t have the same intensity as heavier bondage and bdsm, it's important to discuss with your partner first.
A fantasy that seems harmless and slightly kinky to you may be a hard no for others. Certain traumas can make even the slightest form of restraint uncomfortable, so it's important to check in.
If you’re a little uncomfortable bringing up the topic, maybe ask your partner a question about a light bondage scenario you’ve read online.
Wait until you are both in a trusting space, and maybe have a glass of wine or enjoy another hobby to bring the situation up casually. Be honest about your desire to explore, but keep your partner's feelings in mind as well.
Don’t have a partner and still want to get into some light bondage?
You don’t have to just rely on steamy novels and your imagination. Dip your toe into the many bdsm dating sites out there! BDSM sites are generally very welcoming, friendly, and safe for beginners. Exploring with a virtual fling is a great way to introduce light bondage to your sex life.
Use A Bondage Kit - Or A Homemade One!
But if you’re anything like me, you’re going to want to jump in with both feet and you have no time for DIY. Our beginners kits for bondage are a great place to start, but if you’re not quite sure if light bondage is for you, don’t worry!
Many household items can be great for light bondage too.
Handkerchiefs, the ugly scarf you got at last years office party, and even a pair of leggings or tights can be a great restraint or blindfold. Pro tip: Make sure to have a pair of safety scissors nearby in case your passion ends up in accidental entrapment.
Nerves are definitely normal, and something I have experienced as a beginner to light bondage. It takes a level of trust with your partner to be restrained or blindfolded, no matter how easy it is to escape.
The vulnerability and passion really hits a new level and it can be a little intimidating! I always felt safe when my partner checks in with me, and pays close attention to my body language.
Light Bondage Techniques
Talk that sh*t: Verbal Bondage
Explore your limits without any awkward equipment with simple verbal bondage.
Simply tell your partner where they can put their hands, and start teasing!
Seems easy enough, but most of us instinctively want to touch our partner when being stimulated!
Your partner will struggle to stay still in their pleasure, and their sensual frustration will be exciting to watch.
Verbal bondage is fun and an easy way to get into light bondage!
Bust A … Move
This strip club move is a classic: take it up a notch by securing your partner to their seat; or roleplaying the “no touching strip club rules.”
When your partner is ultimately overcome with their lust for you and touches, you can “compromise” by promising not to tell “security” if they let you restrain them for the rest of the dance!
This versatile technique can be performed on a bed, couch, or chair - anywhere most comfortable for you.
Enjoy teasing your partner with your body - you’re in control, babe!
Use the 5 senses, smell good, touch them lightly, let them see your sexy curves, let them have a taste if you dare - but no touching!. Seeing your partner's lust for you is so stimulating and you might get so excited you abandon the rules and go all out!
Spread Em Like Butter
After the first two techniques, not to brag, but you’re basically a pro now at light bondage. It’s time to steam things up to the next level.
Getting your partner completely vulnerable and exposed is a visual dream.
Being exposed with nowhere to hide can seem like an intimidating situation, but knowing your partner is loving the control is so empowering! Try this one when you’re ready to dive in.
Light Bondage Positions
Ready to try some easy bondage positions? I promise you don’t have to be a gymnast to do these : they’re totally beginner friendly.
Hands Up Right Now!
The simplest position for light bondage is simply having your hands bound above your head. It’s simple to do, even with just verbal bondage.
Laying on bed with your hands bound above your head is a sensually submissive and irresistible pose. You still have total control over your lower half, and depending on the level of bondage, can break the pose at any time.
It gives your partner an awesome view of your body’s landscape and gives just a hint of light bondage spice to your play.
The Clap Back
Now that you have the basics down, let's take this up a notch!
Hands behind the back is another hot experience.Ever had your hands restrained during doggy style? Yum.
Laying on your back might not be the best position for this one.
This is the perfect time to do a cop and robbers roleplay!
Pro tip: Resist the urge to get fuzzy handcuffs - they’re not as comfortable as they look.
Try some soft leather cuffs instead.!
Bend & Snap
Try this ultra sexy bondage position that allows your partner deep penetration from the back!
You can try restraining your legs and ankles together, or if you’re ready to stock up on some toys & gear (more on that next) you can try a spreader bar like this one.
Light Bondage Toys
Although DIY bondage is great for beginners, getting some light bondage gear can go a long way with setting a different mood.
Personally, being tied up with my leggings is not going to turn me on, honestly - more laundry?
I’d be much more aroused by a sexy satin sash, with a matching blindfold - you know, for the aesthetic. From almost innocent, to deliciously naughty, the possibilities for toys and gear are endless.
Light Bondage Gear
Light bondage gear isn’t just limited to restraints, how boring would that be? From remote control vibrators to the simple blindfold, having the right gear can go a long way in upping the sexiness of bondage play.
The Monster Under The Bed
Been wanting to recreate those sexy novels and movies that feature an elegant 4 post bed to be restrained to and ravaged, but have a more modest bed set?
Let me blow your mind right now.
This Underbed restraint works for any bed - 4 posts or not! Boom. Bondage on the go.
Getting one of these changed my bondage life.
I’m not really into setup time, I want what I want when I want it.
This restraint can be easily slid under any mattress, and is easy to discreetly hide until playtime.
Plus, the cuffs are super comfortable, cute and easy to remove. You control the level of restraint, so push your limits as much as you like!
Out Of Sight, In Your Mind
A blindfold is a fetish must, but not all blindfolds are created equal! This soft blindfold is the perfect one for bondage (or the nap afterward…) Many bondage masks are made for fashion, but may not be functional - it might be thin, too tight, or made of an uncomfortable fabric that presses your eyes.
An uncomfortable, slipping, or pressing eye mask is like a tight bra on steroids and a quick way for me to be turned off. The wide strap of this mask paired with the fleece lining and padding ensures it will stay in place & keep you focused on pleasure.
Pro-tip: If your eye mask is allowing in too much light (usually around the bridge), use a small piece of fashion tape to experience 100% darkness!
Light Bondage Kits
Investing in a new interest can get expensive because everything looks soooo interesting and fun!
Save yourself time and money by investing in a bondage kit - it’s like a gift box for your sex life!
Bondage Kits are awesome, especially for beginners, and one of the best ways to get a lot of fun gear and a good price.
There's tons of bondage kits for different interests, so don’t feel limited to just one.
If you’re like me and like having everything ready to go when it’s playtime, these are a lifesaver.
No scrambling for ideas in the moment when the blood is pumping less in your brain and more in your sexy bits.
RECOMMENDATION
- Get Everything You Need For Bondage In This One Kit!
Beginners Bondage Kit
I saw this beginners bondage kit and thought it was absolutely amazing and would definitely recommend it to beginners! I fell in love with the dice and Kama Sutra cards - this is one game night that is definitely not going to be boring!
Even being experienced with light bondage, I snatched this one up to spruce up my ever growing bondage kit. It’s always nice to have a bit of a guide, as inspiration always seems to stall at the worst moment.
I love that this kit features an under mattress restraint - that’s a huge plus, especially for beginners! No extra tying or knotted ropes to deal with in the heat of the moment.
Light Bondage Lingerie
You’ve got the gear, you’ve got the kit, now you need the look!
Looking the part can help you set the scene and get in the mood! I’ve got a few picks that I think would be the perfect addition to your lingerie drawer…if you dare.
Black Widow
Ditch the sweet baby girl lingerie tonight and step into this studded wet look lingerie to release your alter ego.
The cupless and crotchless style exposes your naughtiest parts while giving you the sultry touch of lingerie. Pro-tip: Get a mirror ready, you won’t believe how HOT you look in this!
Soft To Hard
Men, you’re not going to get left out of the fun! Don’t overlook this opportunity to expand your horizons. You know what’s hot? Microfiber laceup boxers. Super soft and comfortable and with plenty of elasticity to um, pitch a tent.
The tie up detail doubles as sexy inspiration…how slowly can you untie the boxers and tease your partner? Use your teeth for some extra-erotic foreplay.
Light Bondage Stories
My First Time Bound
I know sometimes jumping into something kinky can be a bit weird, and it can help if you have someone else's experience to draw from. Here’s my story:
When I was in my 20’s, I got a hotel with a boyfriend for a fun staycation. Our hotel room included a small discreet bondage kit with a feather tickler, massage oil, and a satin sash. It caught my eye in its little purple and gold box and I opened it up out of curiosity. We were going to be having an indulgent weekend anyway, what’s another $12 for an impulse sex toy splurge?
My eyes darted over to my partner. Should we? We should.
I undressed quickly and did a little excited wiggle as I leapt onto the bed. I donned my sleep mask as a makeshift blindfold and he tied my hands together with the satin sash. He got the tickler out, but we kept both laughing so much that we couldn’t find it erotic; but, the laughter got out some of the nerves of the new bondage experience.
He started the massage on me. The oil had a warming sensation that felt somehow even better when I couldn’t see. Even though I wouldn’t have asked him to stop, having my hands bound made me feel new sensations, like the only thing in the moment that mattered in the moment was my pleasure.
After a while, I couldn’t take not being able to touch him back and slipped out of the sash. We had awesome sex with an amazing climax that night. It was like that passionate, bonding, hot hotel sex that has that unique afterglow.
Although I didn’t think of what we did at the time as bondage, I realize now that it actually was! It was so easy to experiment with. Although we didn’t use the sash again, we definitely became more open to exploring different things, so…the $12, non discreet hotel bill charge was worth it.
If you want to hear more first hand experiences in fetish, check out the steamy and informative stories at Escape Vanilla.
I Lost Count Of My Orgasms
Wow! This technique couldn’t be any easier - I’m ready to try this now!
Surprise Fantasy
Sometimes the best experiences are the spontaneous ones.
Taking A New Route
Sounds like an amazing time!
9 Light Bondage Ideas You Can Try Tonight!
Ready to play? Don’t worry, I’ve got some ideas that you can try asap! Most of these don’t require any tools, so you can start your light bondage journey tonight. Read on to get your playbook, you sexy little minx.
Bop it, Twist It, Pull It
Hair Pulling: Pulling your partners hair is a simple way to restrain them, of course, ask permission first! Pair this move with some dirty talk to give a double dose of arousal.
Body 2 Body
Body to body massage: Pair this with a little verbal bondage and don’t allow your partner to touch while you oil them up and slip and slide all over them. This is incredibly erotic, and you’ll enjoy your partner becoming more horny by the moment!
Deep & Dark
Cover your eyes: Use a blindfold & some sexy music. Allow your partner to pick some different toys with different textures and please you at their discretion. Pro tip: use toys that can be slightly heated or cooled with warm or cold water for an extra layer of sensation!
On The Hotline
Phone sex: Foreplay doesnt have to only happen in the bedroom. Start your kinky play with a steamy text about what you want to do when you see each other next. It’s restraint to the max - and you’ll both be fantasizing all day!
Play A Role
Role play: Trying something new can be awkward, but taking on a role outside the usual can make it easier. Try one of the classics: boss/employee, cop/robber, professor/student. Get even spicier with a blackmail roleplay, the rent needs to get paid somehow and the landlord knows just how they want to get paid!
Switch Positions
Switch roles: Sometimes, showing is better than telling. A lot of times, submissives are the best dominants. Showing your partner your special bondage turn ons can give them inspiration on how to better please you!
Be A Tease
Teasing: Take your time with a slow teasing tongue or hand and keep your partner in erotic torture by edging them until they're begging for release in more way than one.
Light My Fire
BDSM candles: The idea of hot wax has been romanticized in erotic art, but anyone who has accidentally got wax on themselves knows it’s not exactly pleasurable. Have a unique experience with a BDSM candle that burns at a lower temperature to create an awesome sensory experience. Plus, the melted “wax” creates a massage oil.
Roll The Dice
DIY Dice set/card game: Need more inspiration? Use or make your own a sex dice or card game. You can even write down ideas when the mood hits and put them into a jar to use next time you need kinky inspiration.
Go have fun!
Now that you have the basics down; the gear, look, techniques and ideas, go have fun! Light bondage is such a fun and easy way to explore your sex life - enjoy every moment!
P.S. If you’re ready to get wrapped up in the next chapter of your bondage experience, get inspired with more mind blowing bondage tips.
FREE Guide: 13 "Erotic Zones" To Explore On Your Partners Body During Sex...
Touch these area's to give them more pleasure. Or simply please yourself 😉