9 Full BDSM Checklists – Including Limits, Fetishes & Activities

Imagine a FemDom in latex with her sub in a full gimp mask. They look like they have total confidence in their roles in their fetish relationship.

But getting that that place probably required tough conversations. Communication and boundary setting are important. Just like in any other relationship... it takes work!

That's where our BDSM checklists come in.

They're an easy way to set your limits and interests before horny-hormones cloud your judgment. BDSM checklists provide a clear and organised way to communicate about BDSM activities and practices.

By creating the checklist beforehand, you and your partner can have a structured and thoughtful conversation about what you both want and are comfortable with.

This can help prevent misunderstandings or miscommunications and ensures everyone is comfortable with what is happening. 

Don’t worry - you don’t have to come up with your own! We've got checklists for literally EVERYTHING in this article. But first, a little background information, so you know how to use them properly. 

What Is A BDSM checklist?

A list of activities or practices people can use to help them plan and communicate about BDSM scenes or sessions.

The checklist can include things like the specific activities that will be involved, the boundaries and limits of each person, the use of safewords, equipment needed - like these kinky furniture pieces, and any other relevant information. 

The idea behind the checklist is to help ensure that everyone involved in the BDSM activity is on the same page and is comfortable with what is happening, and can make the BDSM experience safer and more enjoyable for all parties involved.

Is There Room For Negotiation? 

It's also a good idea to discuss the use of safewords and to agree on a system for checking in with each other during the BDSM scene or session. Once you have completed the BDSM checklist, review it and make any necessary revisions or adjustments. It's also important to remember that the BDSM checklist is not a static document and that you and your partner can always revisit and update it as needed.

How to use a BDSM checklist

1. You can complete the checklist for your exploration or with a partner to better understand each other’s desires. (If you’re looking for a new partner, check out these BDSM dating sites to find a like-minded partner!)

2. Fill out the BDSM checklist sober, and while you’re not turned on (although that may change as you start filling it out!) This will help you get the most accurate results. Note any activities you don’t enjoy when you’re not turned on but may desire in the heat of passion.

3. Set boundaries and limits for each activity or practice. This is crucial for ensuring that everyone is comfortable and that the BDSM experience is safe and enjoyable for all parties involved.

4. Discuss the use of safewords and agree on a system for checking in with each other during the BDSM scene or session. This is important for ensuring that everyone can communicate openly and honestly, and can stop the activity if necessary.

5. Review and revise the BDSM checklist as needed. Once you have completed the checklist, it's a good idea to review it together and make any necessary revisions or adjustments.

How To Create Your Own BDSM Checklist

We’ll give you our checklists in a second, but here’s some guidance if you want to create your own. BDSM is fluid, so you might want to use a system using “Yes, No, Maybe, Limit.” Meaning if something is a hard yes or no, you choose that category. If you have a maybe, that means there needs to be more discussion on the topic. If you want to answer yes, but have a limit, you will check the yes, and then write your specific limit in that box.

So, what are some things that go on a BDSM checklist?

•  Safeword Parameters: is a safeword needed for this activity, or will “no” be enough to denote the desire to stop? Do you want to try this activity with no safeword? What ends the scene in an emergency?
• Your Desire: is this a must have with your partner, special occasions only, or unimportant?
• Experience Level:  this gives your partner a good idea of what your comprehension of the activity is.
• Future Play: if your answer is a hard yes or no, is there a chance that this will change in the future?
• Consensual Nonconsent: is this an activity where in the heat of passion, you’d like to be guided into it, or one where even a mention of the activity is a turnoff?
• Equipment: what do you need to play with this activity, if any?
• Aftercare: does this activity need any special aftercare?

Escape Vanilla With Our In-Depth BDSM Checklists

A BDSM checklist would be insanely long if we were to add every fetish that ever exists! We wanted to make these easy to fill out and use, so we segmented them into different lists to make filling out the list fun instead of arduous.

Read through the lists and find the best fit for your activity interests. 

BDSM Activity Checklist

• This checklist is for BDSM activities that can be acted out in real life. Penetrative sexual activities and fantasies are not on this list - you can find those below.

• Circle “Give” if you’re interested in doing this activity with a partner, and circle “Get” if you’re interested in having it done to you.

• You may want to add a column for aftercare, safeword, and equipment needed in this list.

BDSM Interests Checklist

• This one is easy. It’s for your basic interest in BDSM, and the roles you like to play.

• Keep an open mind on this one - you may see a new side of your partner! You could also add a column here for your level of interest between 1-10.

BDSM Sex Acts Checklist

• This list is for penetrative sex acts involving BDSM.

• You may want to add a protection column to decide if you’d like to use protection with that activity.

BDSM Fetish Checklist

• This checklist is for fantasy scenarios that can be used to enhance play by incorporating it into your play either verbally or physically.

• Provide additional information they need to bear in mind for this particular set of checklist questions

BDSM Sub Checklist

• This is a very general checklist for submissives for a dominant to gauge their level of submission.

• You may need to add more columns for more comprehensive research, such as the experience of play, and past enjoyment.

BDSM Boundaries Checklist

• This is a sample checklist for boundaries and safeguards for play. You are answering these for yourself. 

Light BDSM Checklist

• This one is more for beginners into BDSM with easy to play with activities.

BDSM Femdom Checklist

• FemDom has some unique aspects that deserve their list! Assign your subby this task to get to know their weaknesses better.

BDSM Play Partner Checklist

• You fill this one out for yourself to help you find what your interests may be in a partner and what they’re interested in. 

• Use this list to vet potential partners.

Get Playing!

Now that you have everything you need to fill out your BDSM checklist print these out and get to it! This can be a fun activity to get vulnerable with your partner and learn more about them.

With a BDSM checklist, you no longer will have awkward moments in your play, wondering if your partner is enjoying it and will enjoy a more satisfying sex life.